Post by shellie on Apr 20, 2016 21:23:20 GMT
Good Morning to all the Lovely Ladies - GIANT VENT AHEAD, LOOK AWAY IF YOU WANT TO
Well the hits keep coming....after finalizing the last few things for my role as the Executor of DMum's Estate, sending the final email to Solicitor and being told we are done (except for dealing with the leftovers in my garage - kids may take something else, maybe sell some modern books on EBay and taking rest to Vinnies) ......I get a call from Brother to say Dad has had a fall and been taken to hospital....fractured ribs, punctured lung, head lac, small controlled brain bleed, pelvic fracture, bumps and bruises. I faxed off my Enduring Guardian papers to hospital, explained relationship with Dad and non relationship with his wife and children, explained my 1st choice would be Dad makes his own decisions of course (hard at the moment as he is very confused from being heavily medicated), I then explained that I fully realize his wife is his next of kin and that I understand she should have full access to him and I would steer clear of visiting anytime I thought she would be there as I have no interest in causing any extra anxiety to either of them, I explained that to my knowledge (told to me by Dad) that he and his wife had been given a Dementia diagnosis but were both deemed ok to live together, I deferred to Dr's as to whether his wife would actually have the capacity to understand the situation and understand the treatments they may wish to discuss, I explained this is NOT a Hatfield/Macoy situation but just a NON relationship, that Dad has chosen to live two separate lives, and that Dad had made particular effort to have me made Enduring Guardian as he didn't feel there was anyone else he felt was up to the task or that he trusted.
So the agreed to release info to me, no problems, Dr and I agreed that if decisions needing making they would include me via phone so as to not add further stress to his wife.
Anyway I get a call from a Soc Worker late yesterday arvo saying he heard I had a Enduring Guardianship but didn't have the paperwork and that there was a previous Enduring Guardianship held by Dad's wife, so in the mind of the hospital both run concurrently and mine doesn't cancel previous. He also mentioned that Dad's step daughter had her mothers Power of Attorney. So I made it very clear that if his wife was mentally fit/understanding the situation then I understand she can make decisions but his step daughter has now power over the situation and can not speak for her mother on Dad's condition. That I was the person Dad nominated. Soc Worker said the hospital would make 1 call and it's up to that family member to contact rest of the family- that won't happen.
So I've call Dad's Solicitor and am waiting for a call back. I am so mad he didn't make it clear that the new one didn't cancel out any old one. Man, I just don't need this crap right now. There is no way I want his step daughter making any decisions on Dad's behalf. From what I've heard she does not have a good relationship with Dad, has been very antagonistic to him over the years and more so in the last few months and quite unstable in her life.
Sorry to vent all that out, if you made it through thanks for listening xo
Well the hits keep coming....after finalizing the last few things for my role as the Executor of DMum's Estate, sending the final email to Solicitor and being told we are done (except for dealing with the leftovers in my garage - kids may take something else, maybe sell some modern books on EBay and taking rest to Vinnies) ......I get a call from Brother to say Dad has had a fall and been taken to hospital....fractured ribs, punctured lung, head lac, small controlled brain bleed, pelvic fracture, bumps and bruises. I faxed off my Enduring Guardian papers to hospital, explained relationship with Dad and non relationship with his wife and children, explained my 1st choice would be Dad makes his own decisions of course (hard at the moment as he is very confused from being heavily medicated), I then explained that I fully realize his wife is his next of kin and that I understand she should have full access to him and I would steer clear of visiting anytime I thought she would be there as I have no interest in causing any extra anxiety to either of them, I explained that to my knowledge (told to me by Dad) that he and his wife had been given a Dementia diagnosis but were both deemed ok to live together, I deferred to Dr's as to whether his wife would actually have the capacity to understand the situation and understand the treatments they may wish to discuss, I explained this is NOT a Hatfield/Macoy situation but just a NON relationship, that Dad has chosen to live two separate lives, and that Dad had made particular effort to have me made Enduring Guardian as he didn't feel there was anyone else he felt was up to the task or that he trusted.
So the agreed to release info to me, no problems, Dr and I agreed that if decisions needing making they would include me via phone so as to not add further stress to his wife.
Anyway I get a call from a Soc Worker late yesterday arvo saying he heard I had a Enduring Guardianship but didn't have the paperwork and that there was a previous Enduring Guardianship held by Dad's wife, so in the mind of the hospital both run concurrently and mine doesn't cancel previous. He also mentioned that Dad's step daughter had her mothers Power of Attorney. So I made it very clear that if his wife was mentally fit/understanding the situation then I understand she can make decisions but his step daughter has now power over the situation and can not speak for her mother on Dad's condition. That I was the person Dad nominated. Soc Worker said the hospital would make 1 call and it's up to that family member to contact rest of the family- that won't happen.
So I've call Dad's Solicitor and am waiting for a call back. I am so mad he didn't make it clear that the new one didn't cancel out any old one. Man, I just don't need this crap right now. There is no way I want his step daughter making any decisions on Dad's behalf. From what I've heard she does not have a good relationship with Dad, has been very antagonistic to him over the years and more so in the last few months and quite unstable in her life.
Sorry to vent all that out, if you made it through thanks for listening xo
I'm sorry to hear you are now having another stressful situation and hope you and the solicitor can work something out. Otherwise I guess I'd be leaving it to the wife and just walk away. Is it worth the effort to fight it?