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Post by medusahair on Jun 21, 2016 21:16:50 GMT
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Post by shellie on Jun 21, 2016 22:52:08 GMT
Good Morning Medusa and all the lovely ladies to come
Well things have somewhat settled down. Somewhat. I had a case conference meeting yesterday at the Nursing home which is a normal thing when checking a new resident in. The 1st thing the Facility Manager mentioned was that she had received a complaint from Dad's stepdaughter which we would cover at the end of the meeting, this had been threatened to me by text so she obviously followed through. So we discussed Health, who would be his Dr, his 'behaviours', food, physio/rehab, Advanced Care Directive, the Calendar/Diary I bought him to help his memory and I asked them to help him remember to fill it in. I mentioned his concerns for his wife's well being and that I thought the Calendar would help with this to remind his of her visits. I also asked them to reassure him whenever possible. Then we got onto her complaint. I explained that it was neither my right or responsibility to provide details for someone I have never officially met or spent any time with over 40yrs. But that when I noted they had not giving their info themselves, that I had mentioned it to a Nurse to asked them for their contact details. I also said that if they wanted his wife to be Next of Kin, they were welcome to do that. And if they felt it was appropriate to call a 80 something year old woman in the wee small hours with 'the worst news' then go right ahead, even though I felt that was unkind and that I had planned to continue communicating through our 'mediator' (who is Dad and his wife's family friend, not mine) and he could deliver any news gently. I also asked that if she then wanted to be financially responsible for her own husband, she could do that too. The staff all agreed I had done the right thing, that the wife would not be able to comprehend big decisions and that her daughter was pulling the strings anyway. I mentioned that I personally had no experience with dealing with people like this and I honestly felt ill equipped to dealing with people like this. I mentioned the 10 text messages full of swearing, lies, accusations and even that she dragged my deceased mother and kids into them (despite NEVER having met any of them). And that I had never given them my number but that she had gone through Dad's things to find it. I explained we had agreed upon commumicating through Mediator and I had sent wife letters with Mediator explaining things but have only received replies from the daughter, so I really don't know what the wife thinks.
Anyway the end result was Stepdaughter showed her true colours and so did I. When I suggested that the Stepdaughter didn't like Dad, the nurse commented that she never goes near Dad, just drops her mother off and picks her up, then sometimes sits outside on her phone. They thought that showed a lot. All the staff offered me their help, they gave me a form for "Hardship payment" from Centerlink when I explained the 3 ranting texts I got when I dared to request they notify Centerlink if/when her financial situation changes and that I would do the same for Dad. I promised them I would do everything in my power to keep the family drama away from their facility, their jobs and Dad, but I was incapable of controlling what others did.
So this is where we are now. Hoping I can get back to a new normal now. Wishing you all a Wonderful Wednesday. (I have a Hair appointment booked today, looking forward to it, I need the boost)
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Post by medusahair on Jun 21, 2016 22:56:40 GMT
*hugs* Shellie. Hope things settle down. Can you contact your phone provider, to see if they can block stepdaughter's messages?
Today DD is going to Dr and in the afternoon OT.
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